Black widow bite

[happycamper]

I hate black widows. I kill all I see. 

On 8/15/2022 at 8:57 AM, SJSUMFA2013 said:

Fellow beardless adult male here. Solidarity brother  

 

On 8/15/2022 at 1:55 AM, IanforHeisman said:

Dude the only place I seem to be able to grow hair is my ass. I’m 41 and can’t grow a full beard. No hair on chest. My ass takes it all.

I started growing a real beard right after I got my vasectomy. coincidence? 

[IanforHeisman]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:57 AM, SJSUMFA2013 said:

Fellow beardless adult male here. Solidarity brother  

If patchy thin beards ever become a thing it’s our time to shine.

[SJSUMFA2013]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:20 AM, happycamper said:

I hate black widows. I kill all I see. 

 

I started growing a real beard right after I got my vasectomy. coincidence? 

Got mine in March and still nothin 

[SJSUMFA2013]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:29 AM, IanforHeisman said:

If patchy thin beards ever become a thing it’s our time to shine.

I just remember watching the Johnny depp trial earlier this year and thinking “and that’s why I shave.”

[madmartigan]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:57 AM, SJSUMFA2013 said:

Fellow beardless adult male here. Solidarity brother  

I promise that special change you were promised in the 5th grade will come. 

[SJSUMFA2013]

On 8/15/2022 at 7:39 AM, madmartigan said:

I promise that special change you were promised in the 5th grade will come. 

A genie offered me a full beard in exchange for an inch off my penis length but 10 is just such a nice round number I couldn’t do it

[thelawlorfaithful]

On 8/14/2022 at 10:50 PM, IanforHeisman said:

I’ve had a fever ever since, but mild and doesn’t bother me. Rashes on one side of my body only. No pain really other than the bite, just annoying itches.
 

I live on the river so we get creatures I didn’t even know lived here. My shorts are in a basket on the floor of my closet, probably just the easiest place for it to find shelter. Unless it was already on my ass before I put my shorts on, I guess I’m not 100 percent sure it was in my shorts. Either way I sat on the poor lady. Sorry no pics, it was smooshed pretty good. But the hourglass was still recognizable.

THE POOR LADY?!!!!

She got into your pants, bit you in the hinder-regions, and poisoned you. This is what they call an abusive relationship.

[Rocket]

On 8/15/2022 at 7:53 AM, SJSUMFA2013 said:

A genie offered me a full beard in exchange for an inch off my penis length but 10 is just such a nice round number I couldn’t do it

stop or half will get aroused lol

@halfmanhalfbronco

[halfmanhalfbronco]

On 8/15/2022 at 11:48 AM, Rocket said:

stop or half will get aroused lol

@halfmanhalfbronco

Only @madmartigan gets me worked up.  

[happycamper]

On 8/15/2022 at 10:53 AM, SJSUMFA2013 said:

A genie offered me a full beard in exchange for an inch off my penis length but 10 is just such a nice round number I couldn’t do it

my guy. we've been over this. being able to give someone 5 inches twice is not the same as being able to give them 10 inches once. 

[mugtang]

On 8/14/2022 at 10:55 PM, IanforHeisman said:

Dude the only place I seem to be able to grow hair is my ass. I’m 41 and can’t grow a full beard. No hair on chest. My ass takes it all.

 

 

In all seriousness…the only place I can’t grow hair is the top of my head.  Bald is beautiful!

[SJSUMFA2013]

On 8/15/2022 at 11:32 AM, happycamper said:

my guy. we've been over this. being able to give someone 5 inches twice is not the same as being able to give them 10 inches once. 

Ok you caught me. 

Many young women on tinder have a 6/6/6 rule for men they will consider dating. He has to be at least 6 feet tall, make 6 figures, and be 6 inches. 

I come up an inch short in one of those categories but exceed the other by a couple of inches. If I ever have to date again I’ll let you know if I’m able to make up the difference. 

[smltwnrckr]

On 8/14/2022 at 11:35 PM, TheSanDiegan said:

That's crazy to me. They are so ubiquitous that when I was but a wee shit I would catch 4-5 on Friday nights at my grandparents' house and put them in a single jar and go all Thunderdome on each other.

I never caught them, but they were everywhere when I was a kid outside around the house. And for some reason, maybe because of the kinds of structures my parents had out there, they would be effing huge ones. My sister has crippling arachnophobia still to this day. 

[smltwnrckr]

On 8/15/2022 at 6:20 AM, happycamper said:

I hate black widows. I kill all I see. 

I tend to let them be if they are out in a spot in my yard where no one goes like a fence corner or something. But anywhere that my family will be sitting, or on things they will be using or reaching into, I kill with ruthless efficiency. I used bug poison for ones I can't reach, but generally it's easier just to go out at night every couple weeks with a flashlight a flip flop and go smashy smashy.

A couple years ago, my wife's friends gave us a few pumpkin seeds and my wife planted like 3 vines in our garden, They completely took over like a third of the yard, and got absolutely infested. When I cut them back and pulled them out at the end of the season, there must've been at least 15 or so in there that I had to kill, many of them huge. It was a black widow holocaust. 

[utenation]

On 8/14/2022 at 10:55 PM, IanforHeisman said:

There was a black widow hiding in my shorts that I didn’t see and put them on, then sat down on. Felt like a bee sting about an inch from my butthole, which I assure you wakes you up better than a cup of coffee. Ripped my shorts off to see a smushed black widow.

 

I won’t show you the actual bite area as no one wants to see my butthole, but you could see two little puncture marks. There’s about 1/2 inch area that’s turned black but doc said it should heal fine. Rashes are mildly painful but extremely itchy. One butt cheek is entirely red and raised about an inch, feels like a leather pad. This is day 3.

So no worse than a bee sting?  And no lingering pain? Just rashes and itch?

About 4 years ago, I ran into a Red Ant nightmare at Lake Powell. I got zapped by about 10 of them.  Worst insect pain I’ve had.  It lasted about 5 hours too. 

I’ve been hit by bees, hornets/wasps and a few spiders that weren’t very toxic but the Red Ants had my number. 

[smltwnrckr]

On 8/15/2022 at 12:09 PM, utenation said:

I’ve been hit by bees, hornets/wasps and a few spiders that weren’t very toxic but the Red Ants had my number. 

They say the tarantula hawk, which is a large wasp that lives in the arid west, has among the most painful stings of any insect on the planet. They also say it's very difficult to get one to sting you.

[utenation]

On 8/15/2022 at 1:17 PM, smltwnrckr said:

They say the tarantula hawk, which is a large wasp that lives in the arid west, has among the most painful stings of any insect on the planet. They also say it's very difficult to get one to sting you.

Seen this series? Jaw dropping.  Kings of Pain. These guys aren’t smart but you can’t look away.

[bornontheblue]

I fuc***g hate spiders. 

I have only seen two black widows in my house , and both times it was in the corner of the garage. 

Both times they were swiftly smashed by a well balanced frying pan. 

 

[TheSanDiegan]

On 8/15/2022 at 11:57 AM, smltwnrckr said:

I never caught them, but they were everywhere when I was a kid outside around the house. And for some reason, maybe because of the kinds of structures my parents had out there, they would be effing huge ones. My sister has crippling arachnophobia still to this day. 

Yeah, I remember abdomens back then as large as my fingernails are now. We also occasionally get a tarantula cruising through. 

Quick story - when I was 8-9, I was at my best friend's house in Harbison Canyon, which is up in the foothills in East County. His house was the only one within an 1/8 of a mile. We were sitting on this boulder about 100 yards from the house, peeling chunks of granite slate between us and chucking them at a beehive about 30' away. You know, boy shit...

Then, one of us pulls a piece of slate to find 2-3 baby scorpions - still white in color. Jaws dropped and eyes popped. With trepidation, one of use pulls off an adjacent piece. Underneath it were another ten or so babies along with two adults. We screamed at the prospect we had been sitting on a scorpion nest. We then kept screaming the entire time as we both sprinted back to the house, and then kept screaming all the way into the shower, scared shitless there were scorpions in our clothing. That was, and remains to this day, the only time I've showered with another dude outside of a locker room.

Once we knew we were scorpion-free, my friend called his big sis at work and asked what we should do. "Get dressed, you dorks," was her response. 

[TheSanDiegan]

On 8/15/2022 at 12:17 PM, smltwnrckr said:

They say the tarantula hawk, which is a large wasp that lives in the arid west, has among the most painful stings of any insect on the planet. They also say it's very difficult to get one to sting you.

They are exceptionally chill. We have a local breeding population that favors this one particular bush, and they're so shy every time I would get close with a lens they would hide underneath the leaf on which they were sitting.

Yellow jackets on the other hand...