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halfmanhalfbronco

Crazy things that happened to you recently.

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On 6/9/2021 at 3:38 PM, TheSanDiegan said:

FWIW I found that gesturing to bad drivers to give me a blow job is way more satisfying then just flipping them off... they literally lose their shit.

Sorry for my ignorance, I don't know what that gesture would be??

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Was out camping for Memorial Day and one night we’re all by the fire bullshitting. The conversation naturally went to Bigfoot, then the upcoming declassified UFO files. We all start stargazing and pointing out random stuff, then this long string of lights appears out of nowhere. After day drinking for a few days our minds were a bit irrational and we were expecting all the anal probes to beam down. 
 

Turns out it was just Starlink satellites, but it was cool to see for the first time when it was unexpected, during a conversation about UFO’s. 

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4 hours ago, modestobulldog said:

Sorry for my ignorance, I don't know what that gesture would be??

There are three three parts.

First, I point at them and lip "YOU."

Second, I make the international blowjob motion.

Third, I point to my dick and lip "MY DICK."

Works like a charm every time.

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Not unusual, but one of several dumb things I did in Vietnam. Anyway, I was stationed on a remote radio relay site and every month they gave several of us a two day pass to go into town. I had never done weed before and one guy said hey let’s get some weed from one of the street guys which was weird in itself in the way he clandestinely passed it to us in the middle of the street. We bought ten joints for about $2-3

So two of us go to our hotel room and start smoking. After one joint I told the other guy are you sure this is legit I don’t feel anything. In any event we smoked three joints a piece and damn it hit me like a brick wall. The third guy shows up in the room and we’re laughing our ass off. He smells the smoke and figures it out. 

We order room service and I can’t even remember what I ordered when they brought it to our room. I really got paranoid when we returned to our site because I was so out of it I couldn’t remember anything for a day or two. Gradually it wore off and I returned to normal. 

The other dumb things could have gotten me killed, but I’ll save it for another time. 

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17 hours ago, TheSanDiegan said:

Second, I make the international blowjob motion.

Oh, I guess I have seen that.  I led a sheltered life.

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16 hours ago, modestobulldog said:

Oh, I guess I have seen that.  I led a sheltered life.

From the handbook: "Press your tongue into the inside of your cheek to distend it outward whilst making a lateral jerk off motion that when synchronized would indicate someone's penis is responsible for making the bulge in your cheek."

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I found a bag of cocaine in a vest I haven’t worn in over 10 years.. I remember losing it on New Year’s Eve. At 40 with 5 kids I’m a little past the all nighter coke binge days but I can’t throw it away either just doesn’t feel right.

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3 hours ago, IanforHeisman said:

I found a bag of cocaine in a vest I haven’t worn in over 10 years.. I remember losing it on New Year’s Eve. At 40 with 5 kids I’m a little past the all nighter coke binge days but I can’t throw it away either just doesn’t feel right.

@Joe from WY quick, what’s the half-life on that generation of cocaine. :ph34r:

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On 6/10/2021 at 11:45 PM, misplacedcowboy said:

 

 

God, I just rewatched that movie a few weeks ago while high as a kite. It still holds up.

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On 6/10/2021 at 6:49 PM, modestobulldog said:

Crazy in a good way - last month traveling to my cabin in Wisconsin, about 30 miles north of Casper Wyoming the battery light comes on in my T100 pickup. I flipped a u-turn, headed back to Casper and thankfully did not break down on the road. I pulled into the Toyota dealer 10 minutes after noon, it was a slow day for them, I was out of there in less than an hour and a half. Thank God I didn't break down midway between Gillette and Casper.

IDK modesto getting your pickup fixed in edgerton would have provided you even more material for this thread...

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I was in Dolores Park a couple nights ago and within the hour I sat there smoking weed and looking at the skyline, I saw a Jamaican dude selling crack to two tech bros ("which one of you is the +++++ing tweaker!?") and then about 2-3 MS-13 guys beat the shit out of someone for something, screaming at him the whole time in Spanish.

 

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On 6/8/2021 at 10:46 PM, ridgeview2 said:

What happened to me wasn't necessarily crazy, but it really pissed me off. In January, my mother-in-law passed away and she left all of her assets including the house to my wife and I. I was living in Bakersfield at the time and the house was a million times better than the little apartment we were living in, so we packed up and moved. I kept my job at the school I was working at, but that meant I had to commute nearly 120 miles round trip every day. I managed to finish off the year and I started looking for other schools to transfer to that was closer to our home in Visalia. There was a school I subbed at for several years prior that had an opening for my field. I submitted an application and I got a call the next week from the administration for an interview. I went in and knocked the interview out of the park. I knew there were a lot of applicants, but I had a good rapport with the students and staff at the school so I was hoping that might give me an edge. A week later I heard nothing, then my master teacher who works at the school called and informed me that they hired the vice principal's daughter who has zero full time classroom experience and is not even finished with the credential program. It was straight up nepotism and I felt betrayed that I went in with the administration looking at me dead in the face knowing they had already made their decision before even interviewing me.    

That sucks.  Sorry to hear that.   I can ask my sister if she has any contacts.  

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On 6/8/2021 at 11:08 PM, ridgeview2 said:

I agree and there are several other teachers on campus who have their own grievances against the admin. It will be a fireworks show at the next board meeting.  

Sounds like it might be a blessing in disguise. 

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12 hours ago, IanforHeisman said:

It still has the smell so I assume it’s still ok.

You can smell coke?  What are you, a Labrador?  Or is that code for putting it up your nose?

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24 minutes ago, halfmanhalfbronco said:

You can smell coke?  What are you, a Labrador?  Or is that code for putting it up your nose?

Lol you know how  coke has that pungent smell.. Not sure how to describe it really, kinda makes you gag a little. The stinkier it was the better it was in my experiences. 

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3 minutes ago, IanforHeisman said:

Lol you know how  coke has that pungent smell.. Not sure how to describe it really, kinda makes you gag a little. The stinkier it was the better it was in my experiences. 

 

WRONG!!!

If you can smell your coke...you are getting ripped the F off.  Coke will have kind of a flowery smell but you would have to have nose near several ounces to detect that floral smell unless you have gifted schnogger.  If you can smell the kerosene in an 8 ball....you just bought some shiiiiiiiit coke.

 

 

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Meh.. I always liked the coke that made me puke after the first one.  Then you spend the rest of the night chasing the feeling of the first 15 minutes but you know it won’t happen. Honestly coke is extremely overrated. It might be good for social events but there are other things I prefer given the choice. 

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