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Mad_Hatter

Seeking MWCBOARD advice

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I’m mostly a lurker here in this MWCBOARD community, but come here rather religiously because of the diverse opinions offered on all subjects. I’m actually surprisingly comfortable being venerable with this group, so humbly seek some guidance in my current situation. 
 

I know I aired out some laundry a while back that some of you may have read. I’ve been in a long term relationship of 10 years, never married, and a daughter I’ve helped raise but is not my own. As it stands EVERYTHING is in my name only, house, car, utilities, phones... literally everything. 
 

I was notified today that our split is imminent, and I’m actually good with that, but it was her choice to go. I have questions about my rights from here... “We” bought a house about 5 years ago, using my 401k and credit to qualify and pay for for the deposit and appliances. She has contributed half of the mortgage payments the entire time and pays me for the car and insurance. She claims she spoke to a lawyer and wants half the home equity, which currently stands at about 100k total. Again, we’re not married, yet she claims to have a lawyer as if it’s a divorce (which I call bullshit on).

I already have texts that she’ll contribute mortgage payments until March and will pay for the remaining balance on the car, but I’m wondering where I stand with the house. Would she actually have any rights to the home equity given her contributions? I’m in Nevada if that helps with statutes.

I welcome to advice, and certainly trolling because I put myself in this position, but can use some help please. 

 

 

 

 

 

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My advice is you should get a lawyer too. Best wishes.

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No one is going to be able to answer your question to be honest.  State law is going to apply and it varies state to state.  Attorneys aren’t going to give that type of advice through a message board either.   If the issue arises through a law suit or otherwise through a demand letter, you ought to seek advice from a local attorney.  In fact, you ought to do that regardless.  

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1 hour ago, Mad_Hatter said:

I’m mostly a lurker here in this MWCBOARD community, but come here rather religiously because of the diverse opinions offered on all subjects. I’m actually surprisingly comfortable being venerable with this group, so humbly seek some guidance in my current situation. 
 

I know I aired out some laundry a while back that some of you may have read. I’ve been in a long term relationship of 10 years, never married, and a daughter I’ve helped raise but is not my own. As it stands EVERYTHING is in my name only, house, car, utilities, phones... literally everything. 
 

I was notified today that our split is imminent, and I’m actually good with that, but it was her choice to go. I have questions about my rights from here... “We” bought a house about 5 years ago, using my 401k and credit to qualify and pay for for the deposit and appliances. She has contributed half of the mortgage payments the entire time and pays me for the car and insurance. She claims she spoke to a lawyer and wants half the home equity, which currently stands at about 100k total. Again, we’re not married, yet she claims to have a lawyer as if it’s a divorce (which I call bullshit on).

I already have texts that she’ll contribute mortgage payments until March and will pay for the remaining balance on the car, but I’m wondering where I stand with the house. Would she actually have any rights to the home equity given her contributions? I’m in Nevada if that helps with statutes.

I welcome to advice, and certainly trolling because I put myself in this position, but can use some help please. 

 

 

 

 

 

She might claim you are common law marriage so there is a chance she can get half your combined net worth plus spousal maintenance though. I was married for 16 years and she got half of everything even though I came into the marriage with a decent amount of money. 
 

This stuff is county by county or judge by judge.  The judge here doesn’t like giving out spousal maintenance one county over it’s different. 

I’d offer to give her half the equity minus your down payment and if she agrees it’s over. Not sure of your financial situation. If you don’t or can’t do that get a lawyer. Might be a 2500 to 5000 dollar retainer. It cost me $500 a month just to have the case open more to communicate with the attorney. I tried to write it off my taxes but my accountant wouldn’t allow it. 

 

The Masters 5k road race All American.

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Contact a lawyer.  Do not pass go.  And offer her nothing until you do.

 

And a simple Google search indicates that Nevada does not recognize common law marriage.  So dont listen to robe either.  About anything.

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This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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2 hours ago, Mad_Hatter said:

I’m mostly a lurker here in this MWCBOARD community, but come here rather religiously because of the diverse opinions offered on all subjects. I’m actually surprisingly comfortable being venerable with this group, so humbly seek some guidance in my current situation. 
 

I know I aired out some laundry a while back that some of you may have read. I’ve been in a long term relationship of 10 years, never married, and a daughter I’ve helped raise but is not my own. As it stands EVERYTHING is in my name only, house, car, utilities, phones... literally everything. 
 

I was notified today that our split is imminent, and I’m actually good with that, but it was her choice to go. I have questions about my rights from here... “We” bought a house about 5 years ago, using my 401k and credit to qualify and pay for for the deposit and appliances. She has contributed half of the mortgage payments the entire time and pays me for the car and insurance. She claims she spoke to a lawyer and wants half the home equity, which currently stands at about 100k total. Again, we’re not married, yet she claims to have a lawyer as if it’s a divorce (which I call bullshit on).

I already have texts that she’ll contribute mortgage payments until March and will pay for the remaining balance on the car, but I’m wondering where I stand with the house. Would she actually have any rights to the home equity given her contributions? I’m in Nevada if that helps with statutes.

I welcome to advice, and certainly trolling because I put myself in this position, but can use some help please. 

Get a good lawyer, and do what they tell you to do.

I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns, and money
The shit has hit the fan

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24 minutes ago, OrediggerPoke said:

From Robe, this appears to be giving legal advice and commenting on Nevada state law without a license to do so.  Do not take his advice and speak to someone knowledgeable.  

Hey moron. I told him what I would do. And I said seek legal advice. Good Lord he ask for advice and I gave him my opinion. Your reaction is an indication of your jealousy of me. Get over it loser. 

The Masters 5k road race All American.

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6 minutes ago, robe said:

Hey moron. I told him what I would do. And I said seek legal advice. Good Lord he ask for advice and I gave him my opinion. Your reaction is an indication of your jealousy of me. Get over it loser. 

That’s cute.  My reaction is that of someone who is familiar with rule 5.5 of the model rules of professional conduct for attorneys, and, who can Google Nevada’s unauthorized practice of law statute. 

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Since 1984, the Nevada courts have permitted couples, by agreement, to apply community property law to their acquired property “by analogy,” allowing community property laws to apply to the property acquired by unmarried (usually cohabiting) couples. To do so, both partners must explicitly or implicitly agree to hold property together as though they were married, whether their economic agreement is thought of as a joint venture, partnership, or contract.

Originally, the rationale behind this was that the public encouragement of legal marriage wasn’t “well-served by allowing one participant in a meretricious relationship to abscond with the bulk of the couple’s acquisitions.” The concept has evolved over the intervening decades, applying the concept of joint ownership to property acquired by cohabiting couples before their formal marriage, or after their formal divorce, or where they never married at all. A different line of authority can allow jointly-titled property to not actually be equally owned, however, but instead belong to the parties when the relationship ends in accordance with how much each party contributed to the property’s price.

 

The attorney probably thinks her paying half the mortgage qualifies it as community property. The above is probably her rationale. 

The Masters 5k road race All American.

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3 minutes ago, OrediggerPoke said:

That’s cute.  My reaction is that of someone who is familiar with rule 5.5 of the model rules of professional conduct for attorneys, and, who can Google Nevada’s unauthorized practice of law statute. 

I am not practicing law. I am not an attorney nor do I pretend to be one. I did not give legal advice. 

The Masters 5k road race All American.

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You will want a good attorney. Ask around to everybody you know locally who went through a divorce and find out if they would recommend an attorney.  Maybe they will recommend their attorney, maybe their spouses, or someone else.  Although not an attorney, my hunch is you owe her a minimum of her pro-rated equity and regardless, that would be the right thing to do.  Avoid hostility, try to work things out.  Escalation of hostility will increase attorney fees on both sides.  

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Not an attorney - but hopefully mediation is an option instead of litigating.

As for advice - take care of yourself. Don’t drown any sorrow with alcohol/substances. Try to avoid social media drama. Hit the gym if that’s your thing - whatever you do for stress relief. Reach out to friends/family if you need- take care of your mental health.

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Best of luck @Mad_Hatter. I agree with the others, get a lawyer. 

And also want to say this is a pretty good place to come to for advice. Some smart people here and the anonymity provides a “safe place.” 

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I appreciate the input from you all. I’ve requested advice from an online attorney service before I retain someone officially. From initial discussions it seems she may be entitled to claim her contributions to the actual principal balance, but still waiting to hear about what happens with additional equity that has accumulated. 
 

Her name is not on the title and we have no formal written agreements. Just previous text messages where sometimes she calls it rent and other times mortgage. She always paid me by cash or Venmo. Not looking to screw her over, but also don’t want to get bent over myself without a MWCBoard size drum of lube. She also sent a follow up that if I don’t sell the house I can go ahead and write her a check for half of my 401k, which seems laughable to me and from what I can tell is completely out of play. 
 

I did get pretty blitzed last night with my buddies, but definitely need to keep my head clear going forward so I don’t completely spiral. 

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12 minutes ago, Mad_Hatter said:

I appreciate the input from you all. I’ve requested advice from an online attorney service before I retain someone officially. From initial discussions it seems she may be entitled to claim her contributions to the actual principal balance, but still waiting to hear about what happens with additional equity that has accumulated. 
 

Her name is not on the title and we have no formal written agreements. Just previous text messages where sometimes she calls it rent and other times mortgage. She always paid me by cash or Venmo. Not looking to screw her over, but also don’t want to get bent over myself without a MWCBoard size drum of lube. She also sent a follow up that if I don’t sell the house I can go ahead and write her a check for half of my 401k, which seems laughable to me and from what I can tell is completely out of play. 
 

I did get pretty blitzed last night with my buddies, but definitely need to keep my head clear going forward so I don’t completely spiral. 

Based on that statement alone you definitely need legal counsel. 

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