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ph90702

Dating

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Guest #1Stunner

This thread is odd.

PH, what do you expect from women?   It sounds like you want a relationship and to get married.

If that's the case, you probably need to date women to find out if you can have a friendship with one of them, before immediately and only thinking about sex.   That is not to say that you are looking for a "friend zone" relationship, but if all you think about is sex, then you are probably going to be disappointed.   Right now you seem to be objectifying women and getting really frustrated that they are independent actors, with their own brains, and not doing what you want them to do.

And if you have a girl that isn't interested in hanging out with you or dating you, then move on.   Don't get so angry at the other person that they didn't act how you wanted them to act.

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Guest #1Stunner

Also, you need to put yourself in an environment where you can succeed.

It sounds like to this point you have only been able to establish shallow relationships, and not move beyond the "first date" connection with the girls you are dating.   You said you are meeting them through some kind of App?   Maybe that isn't working for you.

You might need to come up with a new strategy on how to meet the sort of women that you are going to connect with.   Maybe join some sort of group that has similar interests to your own.

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Guest #1Stunner

Also, you sound like you might need some counseling / life coaching.   

You probably need to learn some more empathy skills---doesn't sound like it comes natural to you, and that you are a bit self-absorbed in your own feelings.

If you can't develop greater empathy and patience, you are going to struggle to connect with people.

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stunner with some amazing advice, @ph90702

i get that autism makes this sort of thing 1000x more difficult for you than for other people.  when someone doesn't behave in the way you expect them to, it can be very challenging to prevent yourself from feeling hurt and frustrated and instead change your expectation.  i don't envy you for having autism, but if you want different results than the ones you've gotten up to now, i think you have no choice but to change how you think about this.

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1 hour ago, #1Stunner said:

Also, you need to put yourself in an environment where you can succeed.

It sounds like to this point you have only been able to establish shallow relationships, and not move beyond the "first date" connection with the girls you are dating.   You said you are meeting them through some kind of App?   Maybe that isn't working for you.

You might need to come up with a new strategy on how to meet the sort of women that you are going to connect with.   Maybe join some sort of group that has similar interests to your own.

@ph90702 have you ever considered becoming Mormon?

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2 hours ago, ph90702 said:

Why are you comparing me to that f-cktard?  That’s bullshit!

You don't seem to see women as people, you see interactions with women as transactional, you seem to expect that women owe you anything you want, and you consider "women" a single uniform group instead of whatever the woman you're seeing right now is doing.

You need to have a long self examination of your thoughts and feelings to see why people would bring up stuff like that around you. 

Remember that every argument you have with someone on MWCboard is actually the continuation of a different argument they had with someone else also on MWCboard. 

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Guest #1Stunner
1 hour ago, renoskier said:

@ph90702 have you ever considered becoming Mormon?

HA!  

Hopefully he joins a healthy group (not that Incel thing----which is crazy!!!).   I was thinking he might like trying martial arts, and it might give him more confidence and friends.   Something like Aikido.  But if he wants to come to Church on Sundays he is certainly welcome. 

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I have said it before but here goes again:
PH - join a group like Meetup.  It is a place where like-minded people go to get together and do their common interests.  Meetup has groups for pretty much anything you like to do from dog lovers, coffee drinkers, hiking, skiing, chess, bowling etc.

Start going to the meetings and listen much more than talk.  Do not treat it like Tinder and ask out the first 10 women who say "hello".  Just go on the trips and be nice to everyone but pay particular attention to the single women.  Talk a little about yourself, your job, family, interests etc. and ask about theirs.  Listen about their situations.  Are they newly divorced and have 5 kids? You probably should pass.  Listen for deal breakers and if she has them, continue to be friendly with her but do not consider dating her.  Over time, you will find that there are a few who might be good candidates for dating.  If you find one who you are interested in, notice how she greets you.  Does she make eye contact and smile?  If so, she might be interested.  If not, she is probably just being polite.  If you do ask someone out, start with something simple like coffee on a Saturday afternoon.  During coffee, pay attention then too.  Is she smiling and making eye contact or is she looking around or at her phone?  If you and she seem to have a good time, then tell her that you enjoyed yourself and that you would like to see her again. 

Caution about looks - we all want a gorgeous woman but a fair number of them are incredibly high maintenance and a bit of a pain in the butt, especially in their 20's.  Find a girl you enjoy spending time with and is middle of the road cute.  If she happens to be gorgeous, great but don't let looks get in the way of a good person.

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I'm getting married soon and won't need to date anymore. I passed the test. Whew! Actually, she's really cool and has a mellow soul. So I got lucky. B)

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3 hours ago, nomascows said:

I have said it before but here goes again:
PH - join a group like Meetup.  It is a place where like-minded people go to get together and do their common interests.  Meetup has groups for pretty much anything you like to do from dog lovers, coffee drinkers, hiking, skiing, chess, bowling etc.

Start going to the meetings and listen much more than talk.  Do not treat it like Tinder and ask out the first 10 women who say "hello".  Just go on the trips and be nice to everyone but pay particular attention to the single women.  Talk a little about yourself, your job, family, interests etc. and ask about theirs.  Listen about their situations.  Are they newly divorced and have 5 kids? You probably should pass.  Listen for deal breakers and if she has them, continue to be friendly with her but do not consider dating her.  Over time, you will find that there are a few who might be good candidates for dating.  If you find one who you are interested in, notice how she greets you.  Does she make eye contact and smile?  If so, she might be interested.  If not, she is probably just being polite.  If you do ask someone out, start with something simple like coffee on a Saturday afternoon.  During coffee, pay attention then too.  Is she smiling and making eye contact or is she looking around or at her phone?  If you and she seem to have a good time, then tell her that you enjoyed yourself and that you would like to see her again. 

Caution about looks - we all want a gorgeous woman but a fair number of them are incredibly high maintenance and a bit of a pain in the butt, especially in their 20's.  Find a girl you enjoy spending time with and is middle of the road cute.  If she happens to be gorgeous, great but don't let looks get in the way of a good person.

Great advice. I'm sure he'll ignore it all and scream, "I'M AUTISTIC SO NONE OF THAT WILL WORK FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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On 10/14/2018 at 9:07 PM, soupslam1 said:

Aren’t most online dating services geared toward singles or divorcees. I haven’t seen any catering to married folks. 

Ashley Madison or something like that is a cheaters site. I doubt it’s the only one.

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Yet another girl who didn’t take dating seriously.  She said she had a good time and wanted to go out again yet ghosted me when I asked her if she wanted to go out this week.

I’m taking a hiatus.

I’ll think about what ya’ll have said when/if I feel like dating again.

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On 10/14/2018 at 11:06 PM, ph90702 said:

The theory that opposites attract is a bunch of bullshit!  Go read the science.

 PH for once you are completely correct. Opposites may attract but it is impossible to get along with them in due course. I know this as I married and then divorced two of them. You once stated on this site that you had a "smoking hot girl". Now I do not say that I necessarily believed you but I would like to see a picture as I would like to know what you mean by smoking hot.

Thanks

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