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DobyZhee

Colin Kapernick calls his parents racist

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On 3/21/2023 at 10:44 PM, grandjean87 said:

Mom objecting to cornrows as "proof" of racism...proof...lmfao.  We're all racist kind of diminishes the meaning.  

I spent a big part of my life w/kids from dysfunctional families.  CK had it so much better than so many.  

Parents are not perfect, sometimes  they hurt you without meaning too.  I believe this was the case for Collin.  I believe he was hurt his mom disapproved and made statements about him having a hair stye.  I believe Collin wanted corn rows to identify closer to black role models Like Iverson.  This graphic memoir, based on leaks, seems to focuse on his parents and how these ignorant but somewhat well off white parents hurt him.  

Only a compete douche bag would monetize the corn row story.  His parents are getting hate mail and DMs constantly now. 

 

In my humble opinion fam stays between family.  If you disrespect my mom in front of me I will smack the absolute shit out of you.  That's me.  Collin sucks

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On 3/21/2023 at 9:44 PM, grandjean87 said:

Mom objecting to cornrows as "proof" of racism...proof...lmfao.  We're all racist kind of diminishes the meaning.  

I spent a big part of my life w/kids from dysfunctional families.  CK had it so much better than so many.  

Ironically, this “you can’t complain about anything because you had it so good” kind of thinking goes hand in hand with the sort of “oppression Olympics” mentality that many here would accuse Kaep of having.

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On 3/17/2023 at 11:46 AM, happycamper said:

Halfman in college I dated a filipino girl for 5 years. For a while it looked like that was who I was going to marry. 

My dad absolutely went in on the "model minority" stuff and told me that because of her "culture" (lol, she was born in covina and grew up in denver) she would be more ok with traditional gender roles. Said that outside of "western culture" marriage "Works better". 

Is a super good dad, very supportive, very loving, very kind. Taught me racism and homophobia are wrong. But he also does the "but where are you REALLY from" to people who aren't white and gets mad when I call him out on it - for something he himself was sensitive to, 20 years ago.

If I wrote a memoir, I'd include both parts. They're both important parts of my life. 

 

Except no one knows you from Adam and could care less. What purpose does it serve for Kap to call them out publicly except to likely make them feel terrible and possibly affect how friends and associates now portray them.

And that’s assuming they are even racist because they wouldn’t let him get corn rows? If he’s going to make accusations, c’mon I’d hope he’d have something more definitive than that. Just the fact they were willing to adopt a half black baby tells me he’s full of shit. 

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On 3/21/2023 at 11:17 PM, SalinasSpartan said:

Ironically, this “you can’t complain about anything because you had it so good” kind of thinking goes hand in hand with the sort of “oppression Olympics” mentality that many here would accuse Kaep of having.

Not really my main point, but more just a general nod to halfman.

The real point was mom's issue with a certain hairstyle isn't proof of her racism.  It's proof she was a mom.  Of course, she like every other human on planet earth carries prejudices of all sorts.  And, being a Black or biracial child/kid in a White family and community has import on kids. I have a grandniece w/far darker skin than CK.  She knew from the start there was a difference.  

To be fair, I haven't read or listened to CK. I was taking my lead mostly from halfman. Let's save racism charges for the racists and hold off on the Sociology textbooks.  

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On 3/22/2023 at 4:16 AM, soupslam1 said:

Except no one knows you from Adam and could care less. What purpose does it serve for Kap to call them out publicly except to likely make them feel terrible and possibly affect how friends and associates now portray them.

I don't know, man. I've never written a memoir and I've never had the slightest inclination to do so. But... that's exactly the kind of thing that goes in memoirs. 

On 3/22/2023 at 4:16 AM, soupslam1 said:

And that’s assuming they are even racist because they wouldn’t let him get corn rows? If he’s going to make accusations, c’mon I’d hope he’d have something more definitive than that. Just the fact they were willing to adopt a half black baby tells me he’s full of shit. 

I mean... yeah soup. white people policing black people's hair is a pretty well documented form of racism; it's basically its own trope. 

Remember that every argument you have with someone on MWCboard is actually the continuation of a different argument they had with someone else also on MWCboard. 

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Seems like there is a lot of resentment expressed in this thread. But I'd remind everyone here that we don't know what we don't know. I've met Kap a few times, and liked him. Was a really impressive guy in person. But that was years ago, well before he became a lightning rod, and I'd be lying if I said I knew him deeply now or then. And outside of posters with delusions of grandeur, no one here knows his parents intimately either. And even if they did, they didn't know them when Kap was a kid. So while some of what Kap said made me cringe, it's important to remember that we don't even know if he and his parents had a discussion about this well before the book was published. So, unless we hear from his parents on this, any hot takes about their feelings seem to be based purely on an individual's own assumptions, filtered through their own relationships or through politics.

That said, discussion on whether not letting a kid grow cornrows is racist is interesting. We let our daughter color her hair blue as a reward for straight A's. But not every parent would let their kid do that, and not because they're racists. At the same time, it's hard to take race out of a particular hairstyle that is predominant with only one race and associated with "thugs," which is in itself a racially loaded word. Are Kap's parents racist? I doubt it. Did they view cornrows through a racial lens, even subconsciously? Seems like a possibility. How you process that probably depends on many factors.

My take, though, on the idea of whether someone should include negative portrayals of their parents in a memoir. I didn't have a bad childhood thanks to a mother who was a force of nature. But my dad was not great. If I ever wrote a memoir, and of course I never will, my relationship with my father would be included because it shaped who I am, for better and for worse. I would not ask anyone on this board whether I suffered enough to include it. 

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On 3/22/2023 at 9:37 AM, NVGiant said:

Seems like there is a lot of resentment expressed in this thread. But I'd remind everyone here that we don't know what we don't know. I've met Kap a few times, and liked him. Was a really impressive guy in person. But that was years ago, well before he became a lightning rod, and I'd be lying if I said I knew him deeply now or then. And outside of posters with delusions of grandeur, no one here knows his parents intimately either. And even if they did, they didn't know them when Kap was a kid. We don't even know if he and his parents had a discussion about this well before the book was published. So, unless we hear from his parents on this, any hot takes about their feelings seem to be based purely on an individual's own assumptions, filtered through their own relationships or through politics. Kind of a strange conversation, really.

My take, though, on the idea of whether someone should include negative portrayals of their parents in a memoir. I didn't have a bad childhood thanks to a mother who was a force of nature. But my dad was not great. If I ever wrote a memoir, and of course I never will, my relationship with my father would be included because it shaped who I am, for better and for worse. I would not ask anyone on this board whether I suffered enough to include it. 

Great post. Last part is a really great point. Like I’ll never write a memoir, but if I did it would be really hard for me to not include some things about my stepdad (who raised me the first 12 years of my life) that would not paint him in a great light. And to be fair to him, there would be a lot of good about him too. I just don’t know how I could tell MY story without including the bad, like there would be a ton of important context missing.

But I’m sure some people would still tell me, “he didn’t have to care about you at all and he did! You’re an ungrateful piece of shit!” 

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On 3/22/2023 at 9:57 AM, SalinasSpartan said:

Great post. Last part is a really great point. Like I’ll never write a memoir, but if I did it would be really hard for me to not include some things about my stepdad (who raised me the first 12 years of my life) that would not paint him in a great light. And to be fair to him, there would be a lot of good about him too. I just don’t know how I could tell MY story without including the bad, like there would be a ton of important context missing.

But I’m sure some people would still tell me, “he didn’t have to care about you at all and he did! You’re an ungrateful piece of shit!” 

That's such a strange sentiment to me. I get that people love their parents, but understanding how a parental relationship has shaped you seems like a key to a better sense of self. I'm sure my daughter will lay it on me one day, too. Turns out parenting is hard, and we all make mistakes. 

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No parents are perfect. Mine sure weren’t. My real mother abandoned the family when my brother and I were toddlers. My dad essentially raised us. He had his faults but took care of us and loved us. 

There is no way I would ever publicly discuss his faults because I would not want him to feel bad and I also respected him too much to do that. Discussing your family’s dirty laundry in public has no point unless you’re vindictive and they were in fact abusive and awful parents. Even then I would not care to delve into that. 

In Kaps case he took one minor incident in his life and blew it way out of proportion. It says more about him than his parents. 
 

 

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On 3/22/2023 at 1:33 PM, soupslam1 said:

In Kaps case he took one minor incident in his life and blew it way out of proportion.

 

Did he, or did the people blowing it up into a 9 page thread and a major news story do that?

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On 3/22/2023 at 5:38 PM, GoDogs22 said:

 

Did he, or did the people blowing it up into a 9 page thread and a major news story do that?

I’d say him labeling them as racist because they wouldn’t let him have corn rows was blowing it out of proportion. 

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On 3/22/2023 at 5:05 PM, soupslam1 said:

I’d say him labeling them as racist because they wouldn’t let him have corn rows was blowing it out of proportion. 

What was the reason the didn't let him have cornrows?  I may have missed it.  I personally would rather my theoretical kids be in sharper of an appearance.  And I know plenty of black fathers that would tell their kids they are not going to have certain hairstyles and clothing in their house.  It's because they wanted a clean cut and conservative style of appearance (yes, we can extrapolate a lot of sub-context on the "why" but that is a different conversation), and wouldn't be deemed racist.   Parenting with a similar mentality shouldn't be viewed as different due to a mixed-race family, especially to the point of calling the parents racist, when it isn't the intent.

I guess I am asking if the reason is because they wanted him to look as respectable as possible, or if they wanted to sorta whitewash him?  And was there a misinterpretation by Kaep, or is there something that we were not privy to previously.  

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On 3/23/2023 at 7:17 AM, East Coast Aztec said:

What was the reason the didn't let him have cornrows?  I may have missed it.  I personally would rather my theoretical kids be in sharper of an appearance.  And I know plenty of black fathers that would tell their kids they are not going to have certain hairstyles and clothing in their house.  It's because they wanted a clean cut and conservative style of appearance (yes, we can extrapolate a lot of sub-context on the "why" but that is a different conversation), and wouldn't be deemed racist.   Parenting with a similar mentality shouldn't be viewed as different due to a mixed-race family, especially to the point of calling the parents racist, when it isn't the intent.

I guess I am asking if the reason is because they wanted him to look as respectable as possible, or if they wanted to sorta whitewash him?  And was there a misinterpretation by Kaep, or is there something that we were not privy to previously.  

My opinion is, I don’t know their intent. I am not going to ascribe a racist intent, and I am not going to ascribe a non-racist intent either. I will also acknowledge that Kaep would know better than me, and the point of writing a memoir is for Kaep to tell HIS story. 
 

And also on the note of his parents shouldn’t be viewed differently because they are white, I think Kaep is also being viewed differently than a person would if they were being critical of their birth parents in a memoir.

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On 3/22/2023 at 8:04 AM, happycamper said:

I don't know, man. I've never written a memoir and I've never had the slightest inclination to do so. But... that's exactly the kind of thing that goes in memoirs. 

I mean... yeah soup. white people policing black people's hair is a pretty well documented form of racism; it's basically its own trope. 

Dude, lots of black parents don’t let their kids wear their hair that way. Since the beginning of time, kids have been wanting to wear their hair in ways that will piss their parents off. 

Generally a lot of parents want their kids to go to college and have jobs in a professional work force where they’re paid for thinking, not tough low paying physical work without college. Parents know what the professional culture looks like, and if their kids appear to be drifting away from that, they get concerned.

A parent like this doesn’t want to see tats on the face, neck, arms and forearms. I’m sure that was the concern of Colin’s parents, not because they were racist. 

kat.jpg

 

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On 3/22/2023 at 4:38 PM, GoDogs22 said:

 

Did he, or did the people blowing it up into a 9 page thread and a major news story do that?

“The 4th of July is a holiday where white people get to celebrate their white supremacy”.  -Kap

OK, little doggy, I’m sure you support that statement, I’m sure you’re white, and I’m sure you celebrate the 4th of July. So my question for you is, why are you a white supremacist and a racist? And why are you trying to make poor Colin’s life so difficult? 

kat.jpg

 

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