Sorry to hear about your loss. I would say maybe address the grief head on and don’t try to brush it off quickly and convince yourself “you’re good”. I lost my mom a month after I graduated from SJSU and I don’t think I handled it well; I kind of pushed it out of my head after a couple days but then for a long time after random things that reminded me of my mom would make me extremely emotional. Took a while for me to be able to be reminded of my mom without getting emotional, and maybe had I did some therapy right after I could have avoided that.
A similar thing happened when I lost a good friend. My name does have to do with me having lived in Salinas and being a Spartan, but I also chose this name as something of an homage to my friend after he was murdered in 2014; at the time he was playing for a semipro team named the Salinas Spartans. Me and my buddies did the whole gather around and remember the good times kind of thing the next few days without talking about any deep stuff. Then about a week later we all got together at a bar in Downtown Monterey that we would go to a lot, and then I started thinking about how the last time I had seen him was at that bar just a week earlier and I came close to breaking down, but my friend was able calm me down. We had a drunken convo about how sad this all was and it
Anyways, tldr is I’d suggest talking to someone.