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ph90702

Do I have a right to be angry?

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2 hours ago, ph90702 said:

I’m way behind the ? when it comes to dating stuff.  That’s self-explanatory, but I figured I’d say it anyways.  I really don’t even feel like trying to date at this point.  I’ve been single for 27 years, and I’ve managed to survive.

FWIW Ph, even though I fn crushed it when I was your age, if I wasn't married in the here and now I would prly pursue a monastic life (or drunkenly meandering deserted beaches in the S. Pacific... poTAYto, poTAWto) . My mantra of "people suck" used just to apply to herd mentality, with the noted exception that on an individual level, there was often plenty of goodness to be found in most. However, as social media has resulted in - to put it mildly - an uptick in narcissism (much like Mt. Everest represents an 'uptick' in elevation ASL) and a major paradigm shift in our communication modalities, I find people to suck on an individual level far more than they used to.

IMO we've really jumped the shark as a species, with punctuated equilibrium having been supplanted by (what I assume is a cyclical) devolution. 

Cheers! :D

 

St-Javelin-Sm.jpgChase.jpg 

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6 hours ago, ph90702 said:

27.

Dude what are you looking for? If you looking for some flings, Match has been amazing for me. I'm the same age as you and have hooked up with multiple ladies 23-55. Definitely worth the $60 6month option. 

Last  weekend I hooked up with a 52 year old. Maybe one of the most skilled I have had in a while. SHE WAS A FREAK! 

Match is also good if your looking for long term.

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9 hours ago, Old_SD_Dude said:

Tha fact that you came out of the whole interaction hoping that she learned is revealing. The fact that it's not a good idea to message someone two weeks after they stood you up is hopefully something you learned. 

Oh come on dude.  You gotta let the courtship work it's magic!

The World Needs More Cowboys!

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15 hours ago, happycamper said:

Nah. If she wanted to give you a second chance she would have contacted you first, right away, been super apologetic, and probably would have put out.

If you have to initiate contact after being stood up it isn't worth squat. 

This is true but you also have a legitimate reason to be angry.   However, where will it get you?   Anger generally hurts the person being angry more than the target of the anger.  

Your going to miss signals that seem obvious to others....   It is what it is.  Don't lose what makes you special which is your willingness to forgive and to ask.  You losing that inherent goodness hurts you more than her.   Be angry then let it go.   It makes you the bigger person.

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I think the question is less do you have a right to be angry and more will being angry promote a positive outcome or impact on you.

 

On the one hand you feel like you were treated unfairly and stood up not once but twice. On the other hand this person has trouble communicating honestly, so while painful it may have saved you some long term grief.

 

Figure out what you can learn from the experience and move on. But don't let it make you bitter and resentful, that isn't going to be productive or a positive influence on you.

One of the Final Five..........

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18 hours ago, ph90702 said:

Long story, I talked to a girl on the phone about a month ago.  We talked for two hours, and she agreed to go on a date with me.  She didn’t show up.  I messaged her a few weeks after the fact, and she stated that she thought I was too awkward.  I explained my situation, and she stated that she would give me another chance.  Last night, after not hearing back from her regarding going out, I messaged her.  I can’t to find out that she lied and had no interest in giving me another chance.  I know I’m a moron for giving her another chance, but shouldn’t she have just been honest?

You should bang her mom, sister, and brother in retaliation. Send her pictures of each fling...

Quote

Mike Bronson, on 27 Sept 2013 - 8:45 PM, said:

 

    Don't be mad because the refs are going to need Tommy John surgeries after this poorly played game.

 

Quote

mugtang, on 27 Sept 2013 - 8:49 PM, said:

 

    Your mom is going to need Tommy John surgery after jerking me off all night.

 

Cartoon-21-Final.jpg

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49 minutes ago, mysfit said:

I think the question is less do you have a right to be angry and more will being angry promote a positive outcome or impact on you.

 

On the one hand you feel like you were treated unfairly and stood up not once but twice. On the other hand this person has trouble communicating honestly, so while painful it may have saved you some long term grief.

 

Figure out what you can learn from the experience and move on. But don't let it make you bitter and resentful, that isn't going to be productive or a positive influence on you.

Hey perhaps Mysfit should date PH....

she can be brutally honest 

but she does care about people's hearts

he would likely accept her cats.  

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1 hour ago, sactowndog said:

This is true but you also have a legitimate reason to be angry.   However, where will it get you?   Anger generally hurts the person being angry more than the target of the anger.  

Your going to miss signals that seem obvious to others....   It is what it is.  Don't lose what makes you special which is your willingness to forgive and to ask.  You losing that inherent goodness hurts you more than her.   Be angry then let it go.   It makes you the bigger person.

 

48 minutes ago, mysfit said:

I think the question is less do you have a right to be angry and more will being angry promote a positive outcome or impact on you.

 

On the one hand you feel like you were treated unfairly and stood up not once but twice. On the other hand this person has trouble communicating honestly, so while painful it may have saved you some long term grief.

 

Figure out what you can learn from the experience and move on. But don't let it make you bitter and resentful, that isn't going to be productive or a positive influence on you.

 

24 minutes ago, Dogs4Me said:

You should bang her mom, sister, and brother in retaliation. Send her pictures of each fling...

These are all tremendous answers @ph90702.

For my money, put your faith in Sactowndog. You can't fundamentally alter the world, it's way too complex for anyone to get a grasp on. But you can alter yourself so long as you are dedicated to the endeavor. And that's different from accepting and loving yourself. You need to work on the things that about you that don't work, not just throw your hands up and say "I'm good, it's the world that's bad." I mean, you can actually say that. But it's not going to help you at all.

We’re all sitting in the dugout. Thinking we should pitch. How you gonna throw a shutout when all you do is bitch.

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@ph90702 -- have you ever stopped to consider that these women you struggle with have more than likely been screwed over by a guy? Dating is a hard and confusing game that involves emotional risk and neither gender is exempt from pulling asshole moves. Until you have spent significant time with a woman, as in months of seeing each other steadily, you should not expect anything from them. A woman doesn't owe you a single damn thing until you both have expressed a mutual desire to commit to one another at an emotional or physical level. Until then, simply treat women as fellow human beings and try to have casual light hearted fun when you meet one for a date. Enjoy the moment rather than stressing out about what you think is supposed to happen next. 

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